A Pissy Publish – IV Phrases

IV Phrases to USA: Urine Huge Hassle Now!

IV Phrases is now providing a vast provide of COVID-19 preventative and remedy elixir. Dial 800-PIS-SOFF within the subsequent 20 minutes for 20% off your order!

Noncompliance, meet the newest covidiot antivaxxer self-remedy.

Urine remedy.

Like pissing in your ft within the bathe to treatment athlete’s foot, proper?

Not fairly.

It’s the newest COVID cure-all from antivaxx and anti-mask prophet Christopher Key. His antivaxx devotees are consuming it up.

I imply… down.

Now there’s some snake oil that comes with all types of leaks.

Predictably, shamelessly, social media is streaming 1000’s of jokes and phrase performs in regards to the new purported COVID restorative. And naturally #UrineIdiot is trending –

  • “Vaccine. Or. Drink your personal pee,” wrote @mikesatz. “That’s the place we’re at present. 2022 is losing no time. #2022NewYear #UrineIdiot”
  •  “The GOP: Urine or your out,” wrote @TheLiberalPoet (purposeful grammatical error).
Twitter post by @theliberalpoet about urine therapy and the GOP
  • “I received’t say urine fool in the event you imagine that consuming your personal pee will treatment Covid… However I’ll say urine good firm amongst many anti-vaxxers in the event you’d quite swallow piss (yuck!) than merely take a protected and free vaccine. #UrineIdiot.” – Lynette KhalfaniCox
  • “First they had been the Tea Celebration, Now they’ve turn out to be the Pee Celebration. #UrineIdiot #antivaxxers,” @McSpocky wrote.

As for IV Phrases – 

#Trumpsters, urine scorching water now!”


I imply… we’re on a roll.


Gotta love the dual-meaning factor –

  • “You’re an fool” – additional elucidation pointless.
  • “Urine fool” – somebody who drinks their very own pee as an alternative of getting a COVID vaccination.

See? Works each methods. 

It’s paying homage to the trade within the basic ’90s movie, “Singles,” between Cliff Poncier, the charismatic frontman of the band Citizen Dick, and a neighborhood leisure reporter. 

“Now, a track like “Contact Me, I’m Dick” is about… what?” the reporter asks.

Poncier replies, “Properly I feel ‘Contact Me, I’m Dick,’ in essence, speaks for itself, you realize. I feel that’s, you realize, that’s principally what the track is, um… about, you realize… I feel lots of people assume that it’s really about, you realize, ‘My title is Dick, and, you realize, you possibly can contact me,’ however I feel, you realize, it may be seen both approach.”

Two methods in a single.

Twitter post by @mcspocky about urine as a COVID treatment/cure

Probably many Trumpsters are, certainly, Dicks. And now that they’re consuming their very own pee to keep off, deal with or treatment a extremely transmittable and doubtlessly lethal virus, that hardly covers it.

To be truthful, proper now a number of these Dicks are, certainly, being touched with earnest hope for the long run. Different covidiots are in all probability simply going with the circulate. No sense pissing towards the wind. Proper?

So long as we’re on the subject of followers and idiots, anyway…

It stays unclear whether or not The Former Man endorses this new house treatment for COVID-19 survival, however little question he’ll be making his ideas crystal clear any time now. Phrase is he’s awash in expertise on this specific space, so it’d be shocking if he didn’t let his insights and recommendation circulate. Moreover, he’s merely incapable of holding it again. (Occurs to everybody. Ageing.)

Debate the professionals and cons all you need. Reality is there at the moment are a bunch of parents who not solely won’t avail themselves of the scientifically confirmed vaccine, however they’re consuming their very own urine, besides. Out of their very own boots, a few of them. (Many, many good individuals are saying so.)

In the meantime, science adherents are fairly pissed off at our fellow residents for refusing to be vaccinated as a result of they’re harming others and prolonging the pandemic. “They don’t give a shit about anybody!” the criticism goes. 

Technically that’s true. The antivaxxers don’t give a shit proper now. Nonetheless, they’re completely giving a piss.

Talking of crap, social media commenters are questioning if the subsequent step for Trumpsters is perhaps consuming their very own feces. 

(You merely can not make this shit up.)

It’s really a legitimate query. Reality is, there’s a really skinny line between one and the opposite.

Each methods!

It’s tempting to inform antivaxxers they’d be higher off getting pissed on the native pub quite than buying and selling pictures of urine, however that may be debated. Moreover, in the event that they’re COVID-positive however asymptomatic, nobody desires them spreading it to others. 

The virus. Not the pee.

While you get proper all the way down to it, for starters and on the finish of the day, there’s a purpose our dad and mom dumped the “Don’t eat the yellow snow” platitude on us earlier than so many different worthy truisms. It’s simply plain ol’, damn-good, commonsense good.

One other Ma-n-Pa maxim, one which got here a bit later, was, “It’s important to get vaccinated.” 

That’s the prerequisite to public college attendance, no matter potty-training standing. Has been for a protracted, very long time. Which leads many people to what looks as if an apparent query: Why isn’t COVID vaccination a situation to going to high school now? You realize, gradual neighborhood unfold and all that.

FREEDUMB! the antivaxxers would yell, violently shaking the fists they don’t have wrapped round their… a-hem… you realize… within the air.

Freedom. Please. That argument is all moist. It’s simply one other piss-poor excuse for not having a single drop of concern for the wellbeing of 1’s fellow human beings. Not one stray drop – 

Would somebody please wipe off that rattling bathroom seat!

That is getting out of hand….

However sufficient pee-pee jokes. Critical enterprise right here.

Look, so far as we’re involved you possibly can go forward and contact Dick any time you’re feeling prefer it, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else. What’s essential is that everybody will get vaccinated towards COVID.

 A shot within the arm or consuming one’s personal urine. Hmmmm… 

Whereas we look forward to a call, it’s a very good time to say that the provide above remains to be legitimate. Get a tall, scorching, chilly or room-temperature container of your golden treatment proper right here! 20% off!

However on the down-low…

They are saying water is life, and this urine remedy for COVID deal is certainly a lifesaver for the weblog.

We’ve wanted a brand new income stream for a while now.

Unique picture used within the featured graphic through The Economist.

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