Chill on the Bone-Chilling – IV Phrases

Summer season for Winter, Fabled Riffraff and the Chaotic Psychology of Kitchen Calendar Imagery

Acquired a bone to choose with you calendar-making sorts.

Simply what within the frozen-over hell would make you assume somebody would wish to take a look at photos of ice and snow within the frozen-over hell of January and February? Up right here within the Higher Midwest or Higher Nice Plains throughout these unrelenting months, that simply brings on one other depressing shiver each time we take a look at our day trackers.

You’ve received it backwards.

Come January or February, when it’s tongue-stuck-to-flagpole, spit-freezin’-before-hittin’-the-ground, takes-an-hour-to-get-ready-to-go chilly, after I look on the calendar on the kitchen wall I would like the three S’s – sand, surf and solar, child! 

February 2022 calendar

The powers that be want so as to add an hour to every single day for these of us in frigid climes to make up for on a regular basis we spend layering up and pulling off sweaters, neck heaters, ridiculous hats and heavy coats each time we have to exit.

Appears solely truthful.

Photograph by Alessio Sogetti through Unsplash

Shut my eyes and picture myself within the scene, really feel the solar’s heat on my face and stare on the orangish-red glow on the undersides of my eyelids. 

Not that I’m licking any flagpoles – that will be plain silly – however nonetheless.

What’re you giving me, as an alternative? The ISM’s, that’s what. Ice, snow and distress. I get a brand new bone-chilling with each look the calendar’s means. Rattling.

The truth is, go forward and flip the entire flippin’ calendar. 

Present me the ISM’s in July and August, when it’s so scorching you may fry eggs on the sidewalk, spit dries earlier than you look down and the canine gained’t coax from beneath the porch. 

Nicely, not the M’s, perhaps, however positively the I’s and S’s. 

Shut my eyes and picture myself within the cool blue scene, sense the refreshing caress of the breeze, thrill on the phantom icy drips down the again of my coat and marvel on the yellowish glow of the frozen solar on the undersides of my eyelids.

We see sufficient of the ISM’s each doggone day of January and February out the window over the kitchen sink, to not point out for miles and miles out on the freeway. 

And chilly? Rattling proper it will get chilly. Freakin’ frigid.

Do YOU assume it issues that it’s a dry chilly? Yeah, me neither.

Both means, it’s a chilly most folk can not even grasp. 


Zooming not too long ago with some of us in Raleigh, N.C. They’d had an inch or two of snow over the weekend – uncommon for North Carolina, granted – and it was 42° F. All the faculties had been closed. Took a snow day. 

We’d had 3-4 inches over the weekend, ourselves, the air temp was within the single digits and the windchill was at -25° or decrease. And that’s not even near how dangerous it might get.

My youngsters didn’t even trouble asking whether or not there was faculty that day. Most likely didn’t even cross their minds.

After all there was faculty that day. Up right here, why wouldn’t there be?

To be truthful, most individuals and municipalities merely will not be outfitted to cope with ice, snow and arctic temps like we’re; they should shut down. 

Screenshot of frigid temperature in Fargo, ND, 2-3-22
This morning’s readings

So… what? We’re fortunate?



Nicely, perhaps. 

Hardheaded, largely.

Every of us has a option to settle up right here or skedaddle, hit the brittle bricks seeking a greater winter life. No one’s received a gun to our head, the previous saying goes. We’ve waived any proper to frosty bitchin’ and moanin’ we’d in any other case have moderately claimed.

“Retains the riffraff out,” one other previous saying goes. Good factor, too. We have already got sufficient homegrown, blood-red, anti-vaxxing, science-denying riffers and raffers up this manner. Don’t want any extra.

There’s one benefit of ISM’s on the bottom and the calendar within the frozen-over hell of January and February, although. Offers us one thing to speak about. Up right here, climate isn’t simply small speak or boredom speaking; we carry it up as a result of, first, it’s critical enterprise, and quantity two there isn’t a lot else to debate.

Besides politics. (Talking of quantity two.)

However… effectively… that’s simply not executed. Towards the principles, as they are saying. 

Moreover, so far as politics goes, we’ve been carrying masks this time o’ yr all alongside, not for COVID however to maintain the frostbite off our noses and cheeks. So there.

I imply, do you even OWN a pair a’ lengthy johns? 

No matter. Simply swap out these photographs, will ya? 

Summer season in winter, fall in spring, winter in summer season and spring in fall – no matter we lengthy for however can’t have, it doesn’t matter what month it’s…

Uhh… Wait.

Wait simply an doors-frozen-shut minute – 

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