Loneliness or freedom? – Tales of our nature

Strap yourselves in of us! We’re taking a trip down the curiosity-and-complicated-human-nature lane. It’s about to get actual.
Bare, – not that form of bare 😉 uncooked and sincere literature.
Let’s see who of you on the market are revolutionaries!

Ever for the reason that begin of this pandemic, I’ve felt overall- and I do imply total– content material and grateful.
Life has grow to be way more quiet – can I get a ‘whoop whoop’ for no extra noisy planes within the sky and simply the fantastic sound of birds! – and despite the fact that I could be a actual high-energy extravert once I’m feeling immense gratitude and pleasure round family and friends, I additionally want my alone time. My down time. My tending-to-my-introvert- time. Snuggling up with an episode of ‘Anne with an E’, self care periods with Yoga with Adriene, cups of morning espresso by the hearth, days out within the sun-soaked backyard with a ebook, cooking periods whereas dancing across the kitchen, writing in my journal, going for a stroll with the doggo, giving numerous TLC to our veggie patch – which is rising like a wild factor! –  …

I imply you come dwelling, sit down in your comfortable chair with a cup of tea and throughout you is silence, everybody decides for themselves whether or not that’s loneliness or freedom. In my case that represents a examine in with myself, a pause, a listen-to-my-soul second. 

A typical pause-moment at Casa Vic 🙂

But some days all of it feels … a little bit brutal. Slightly too actual.
And for these extremely delicate of us on the market, you’ll know what I imply once I say I really feel all of it a little bit an excessive amount of.
I figured that accepting what’s could be the trail to least resistance. Okay, so we are able to’t see our family and friends proper now. I can’t drive as much as Belgium to go see my household, in all probability received’t for fairly a while nonetheless, with the borders closed. We will’t transfer again to Norway, my pricey candy dwelling, for in all probability a long-ass time since I’m now job-less for the rest of the 12 months.
We will’t greet of us with the standard hug or kiss, which for us latin of us is actually laborious 🙂 

And accepting it’s the solely potential, wholesome factor to do, proper? 
Solely on some days that’s so rattling laborious. You possibly can solely be courageous, robust and grounded for therefore lengthy in these form of making an attempt instances. Sooner or later the bow that has been held tight for a number of days, must launch the arrow that’s now heavy with doubts and fears. Anybody else feeling the identical on the market? 

These days I typically get up in some form of fog, my thoughts feeling heavy with the questions that we’re all combating:

How lengthy till we are able to meet once more? 
When will there be a vaccine or therapy? 
What sort of disaster-economy will we’ve got to face? 
Is the federal government actually going to assist my auto-entrepreneur enterprise?
Will I nonetheless have a job once we come out the opposite aspect?
When will we have the ability to transfer again dwelling? 

I have to reinvent myself professionally, however… to do what? 

These days I’m a wonderful mess – one thing I’m engaged on embracing too – a wonderful mess crammed to the brim with nervousness, disappointment, concern of the uncertainty. These questions add an additional layer of stress and a buck load of feelings that go along with it, making the longer term appear so unclear and hazy. I imply if my goal aka job and my ‘self’ aka family and friends are out of attain for a very long time, then what’s left? At this level my thoughts looks like a ball of fireplace that simply retains spinning increasingly uncontrolled, with extra questions that I’ve no solutions to! 

Wait, cease. BREATHE.

I – have – no – solutions. BREATHE

This storm has disrupted our life however some storms are right here to clear our path. The truth that I can’t see the trail but, anxiety-inducing because it may be at instances 🙂 , doesn’t imply it isn’t there. 
This storm is instructing me loads of new issues about myself. Even when I get overwhelmed at instances by the magnitude of the duties and challenges forward of me, I do know it can all be okay. As a result of I’ve confronted different storms earlier than, which have led me down new paths and new alternatives. Paths I’d by no means have imagined for myself if it wasn’t for that storm. 

One of many main issues that I’ve discovered in all this (and generally wrestle with)  is that it’s alright to really feel overwhelmed, anxious or unhappy for a longer period of time. Prior to now I’d have felt anxious/unhappy/unsure for a figurative minute or 2 after which the necessity to shift my thoughts onto ‘happier issues’ would have taken over, or I informed myself to ‘man the F-up’ and get a grip.

Besides that everyone knows these emotions should be felt. Extra importantly, they are often felt in a method that’s wholesome. Acknowledging that they’re there for a motive. We simply have to have the ability to sit with them lengthy sufficient for issues to grow to be clearer, to elevate the clouds in our thoughts and to embrace them for what they’re: Torches.
Shining a lightweight into the unexplored corners of our thoughts and the beginnings of our new paths as kinder, wiser and extra aware human beings. 
Attending to know ourselves a bit higher, loving all elements of ourselves a little bit higher, taking time for our most essential self-care routines, which is able to hopefully depart us a little bit extra ready for when the subsequent storm comes round.

I’ll depart you with a quote from Brené Brown and hope that you simply too discover a while to apply a little bit extra self love and acceptance in these difficult instances. Let’s be revolutionaries.

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